Show your computer you cAIre

Futurists, rejoice! Hallmark has announced a soon to be launched line of cards specifically meant for robots: “cAIrds.”

The initial idea was laughed about by executives, but rapidly became an expected future source of revenue after the proposer of the line, Amelia Patterson, gave the executives a copy of Ray Kurzweil's book, The Singularity is Near.

“It all seemed so far fetched before reading that book. But I think human level AI will become a viable marketing niche in the near future. They might be able to out think us, but they'll have the same issues as eggheads and not be able to relate to people well, that's where we'll step in to help like we always do,” said Richard Scott, a Hallmark executive.

Designs for the cards began very unadorned. Simple, gray slates with text were the basic visual style of the first generation. Further thought has lead to an ever blossoming visual revolution. The real intuitive leap came when the lead designer, Sarah Bechstein, speculated that any AI capable of even trying to care would probably want something more appealing to human eyes if it was going to give someone a card. Those same colors would be used by any receiving AI as a method of interpreting the intentions and thoughts of the human presenting them with a card.

“So, we all brainstormed and came up with a sort of middle ground between the utilitarian and mathematic designs we started out with, and the more flowery feel good cards we're used to designing. Fractal greeting cards,” said Bechstein.

Stunning and often imagery covers the initial visual look of the cards. The most suggestive images were reserved for the most subtle cards, while more formal cards showcase the algorithm or mathematical formula used to generate the fractal. The interior of the card contains the usual meaningful messages, but restated in such a way as to make it easier to be understood by AI. One of the samples reads: “Expressive Greeting of Joy! It is a good thing that your frail organic form has not yet deteriorated to the point of inducing dementia. A pleasant celebration of the 70th year since your incubator bloodily expelled your from within, fellow sentient.”

“We're hoping by taking away some of the abstract nature of human communication. When you think about it, “Happy birthday” doesn't make much sense to a being that technically isn't born. The nuances of various emotions could also be a bit of trouble. These samples are just what we have so far. Think of it as planning for the infancy of AI. The messages will become more conventional as they get more used to dealing with humans,” said Scott.

“cAIrds” will be available in all the usual situational categories. Voice cards will also figure prominently into the early card line-up to further ease the transition process during which humans and AI will be learning to get along. Stephen Hawking has been contracted to read all the prerecorded audio cards.

The final problem facing designers is that the stilted language used to help AIs interact easily may be a bit of a turn off to early adopters.

“I'll admit, we are a tiny bit worried about some of the cards. Most people won't like being referred to as “self-reproducing organic machines,” but it is a small price to pay to be on the cutting edge of greeting cards,” said Scott.

Hallmark has yet to give an official date when “cAIrds” will be available to the public.